Why is Making Marriage Work So Very Difficult?

Many couples today simply don’t put the effort into making their marriage work. A recent survey carried out in the United States shows that as many as half of all first marriages are dissolved. Often as a result of either one or both partners giving up on a relationship because it has become too hard to manage.

It’s a relatively easy matter to maintain a marriage relationship when times are fine. However when a couple is going through a challenging time, (which may be say work, money or family related) then that’s when the marital cracks begin to show and making your marriage work becomes a struggle.

Bringing back togetherness.

With a little effort, and resolve on both sides, it is definitely possible to bring back the love and caring that both parties in a marital relationship once shared. This can’t be carried out without effort, caring and respect for each other. However given strength of purpose on both sides, a return to a loving relationship can be realized. The following very simple 3 step process can help achieve that.

1) Both husband and wife need to affirm to each other their desire to make their marriage work. Then they must reach an agreement to go all the way to make sure that this mutual goal is achieved. It is important that both spouses agree to help and support each other in accomplishing the objective of saving their marriage. As with all other goals in life you must both desperately want this. There is no point in being only semi committed about it…if one or other of you is only partially committed or leaves it to the other partner, then your chances of success are really quite poor.

2) This step involves open communication. Agree on and discuss, the matters in your marriage that have brought about your difficulties. You and your partner need to ascertain this in honest and open discussion(s) either on your own, if that is possible, or with the help of an intermediary such as a guidance counselor. You must both be quite open and honest about any actions or concerns that have brought about the problem. Your personal feelings and concerns about your marital and family relationships should be revealed to your partner with complete honesty and without malice of any kind. – It is important at this point to ensure that you keep things on an even keel. Make sure that no accusations or bitterness creep into your discussions. Ensure that your discussions are keep friendly and at all times supportive of your partner . If you are having any communication difficulties at this stage then it may be necessary to employ a guidance counselor or other intermediary to assist with the process.

3) When you reach the stage where you are able to agree on all or most of your problem areas then you need to resolve them.Then formulate a plan of action starting with the most important first–you may need help with this step.

These are 3 very simple steps for resolving problems in your marriage.They will work if both parties are committed and really dedicated to achieving the objective.

As a final point.

Frequently a marriage will turn sour because of some easily resolved or inconsequential matter that has been allowed to fester, resulting in the marriage relationship going beyond the point of recovery. If you really want your marriage to work, step back from any risk of this happening to you.